


Waterloo

by stardust_20



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: F/M, Romantic Friendship, brief cameo by Fitz, mentions of Melinda/Andrew marriage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-20
Updated: 2015-05-20
Packaged: 2018-03-31 12:18:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3977728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stardust_20/pseuds/stardust_20
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Three weeks, five days and seven hours. Coulson wished he could feel shame at counting down the days (minutes?) since May had left for her personal time, but he couldn’t. Didn’t.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Waterloo

**Author's Note:**

> Post S.O.S. part 2, spoilers for any aired episodes to date, particular that one. The Coulson/Garner scene near the end of the episode seemed to indicate that Andrew and May were going away together ... I'm not entirely sure whether that was what was implied, but even if it was, this is my version of what might have happened during her time away and what happens when she returns. Quite possibly this is my wish for what happens ... :)
> 
> I've a feeling this won't be the only story I write related to the topic so stay tuned. You may yet get May's version of the story, and possibly even Garner's.
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> (Oh and thanks to Abba for the lyrics to the song 'Waterloo'.)

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Waterloo - Couldn't escape if I wanted to  
Waterloo - Knowing my fate is to be with you  
Waterloo - Finally facing my Waterloo

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

Three weeks, five days and seven hours. Coulson wished he could feel shame at counting down the days (minutes?) since May had left for her personal time, but he couldn’t. Didn’t. 

He missed her terribly. He hadn’t realized until just then how much he’d come to rely on having her in his life, how much he’d grown to appreciate her friendship and support on a daily basis. They’d had something similar when they’d been partners before, but this time it was different. They lived together and worked together. Saw each other every day and spent personal hours together along with work hours.

And Andrew hadn’t been there between them. Until now.

He almost regretted bringing him back into May’s life … almost, but how could he be selfish when he could see being with her ex made her happy? He knew she needed the time off; she’d worked tirelessly and with no rest for the past two years, protecting them all and helping to put Shield back together. She needed this time away. Deserved it.

He just wished it didn’t have to be with Garner. There was a sinking feeling in his gut that the two of them were busy reconnecting and that things were about to change, with him becoming that presence that didn’t quite fit into their twosome. Just like it had been before. That boundary she’d referred to, separating their work relationship from the personal, would be re-erected and he’d be closed out. The thought saddened him.

A knock on the door interrupted his musings and he was grateful for it. Morbid thoughts about May’s happiness wasn’t helping him concentrate on work. He couldn’t let his mind wander down that path again, not if she was rekindling things with Andrew, for then he’d need to figure out how to hide some of the more uncomfortably personal feelings he was beginning to feel for her.

“Sir?” Fitz popped his head in. “Agent May is back.”

Coulson looked up. “Thanks Fitz.” He waited for the younger agent to leave, taking a few deep breaths to calm his racing heart. _Stupid, stupid,_ he chastised himself. _There’s no need to get excited._ But he couldn’t help himself as he rose and went to greet her.

There she was, walking down the ramp into the hangar, in a blue t-shirt and jeans, hair tied back in a messy ponytail and a smile on her face. His heart cracked. How could he be both happy and devastated at the same time? He had no idea but that was exactly how he felt.

“May, it’s good to have you back,” he said warmly, decorously stopping just outside her personal space.

She continued walking towards him and, dropping her duffel bag, put her arms around his neck. “It’s good to be home,” she replied in his ear. 

What could he do? He wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly against him. She felt warm and strong and smelled of incense and peaches. Peaches? He breathed deeply. Yes, her hair smelled of peaches. It was nearly his undoing.

She pulled away and looked at him. “I know it’s late, but is there any food around? I’m starving.”

He laughed. “What, did you forget to eat while you were away?”

She slung her bag over her shoulder as they began to walk towards the living quarters. “I’ve had a busy couple of days. Not a lot of time for eating.”

 _Busy, doing what?_ His heart sank. _Don’t think those kinds of thoughts._ “I’m sure we can find you something. We had lasagna last night and there are leftovers.”

They were both silent for a minute as she prepared a plate of food, then they talked of the base and the team and what had happened in the near-month she’d been away while she ate. Word had obviously spread that she was back and the others, likely by design, left the sitting area empty for them to be alone.

Several minutes went by as they just stared at one another. Coulson struggled to find the right words to open the conversation. “So … did you enjoy your time away? You look rested and dare I say it, happy.”

“I am.” The words came with no hesitation and in her eyes he could see a light that hadn’t been there in a very long time. “Thank you. The time away was exactly what I needed.”

He smiled back, forcing himself to be happy for her. Not that he wasn’t, but it was Andrew who’d brought that glow back into her and he couldn’t help but feel something akin to jealousy for that. “I’m glad. You deserved it. You’ve worked the hardest of all of us these last couple of years and you needed a rest.”

She shrugged it off. “You deserve time off too, Phil. You’ve shouldered a lot more than the rest of us and you could use some time away from the ‘office’.”

“I’ll take that under advisement. I don’t exactly have anyone to go away with though so it might be kind of lonely.”

“Being alone is good. I thoroughly enjoyed it.” She smiled but her eyes frowned when she caught the expression on his face. “What?”

“You were alone? I thought - “

“What?”

He fidgeted. “When Andrew said you needed time away from here and that he was glad to see you coming up for air - “ He saw the realization hit her and knew he had it completely wrong. “You didn’t go away with him? I thought you two were vacationing together.”

May shook her head. “I spent the first day with him, yes.” She gave him a stern look. “It’s not what you think. We just talked.” Her eyes slid down. “I owed him that. I never could talk about it, or about how it changed me when it first happened, I just walked away. I owed him an explanation. He deserved to know the truth … all of it. He never deserved to have his life ripped apart like that. I chose the road that nearly destroyed me willingly, but our marriage was collateral damage. It was time I tried to make things right with him.”

“I’m glad you two finally talked about it,” Coulson said softly, feeling the prickling of tears at the backs of his eyes. “He’s a good man. He deserves closure.”

She nodded. “I spent a couple of days with my mother after that. That was a _lot_ more stressful.” They smiled knowingly at one another. He’d only met May’s mother once but once was enough. 

“After that I took off to the west coast and spent a couple of weeks on my own. Just wandering, hiking, spending time doing nothing in particular. Thinking. Trying to work through things. Nature’s good for that - you should try it sometime. It’s very therapeutic.”

“I’ll keep it in mind.”

“A week ago I flew to China to spend time with my family there. I hadn’t seen them since well before Andrew and I married so I figured it was time I caught up with them. It was nice to see them again, to connect with my past. And it was good to practice my Mandarin. I haven’t used it much lately.” She smirked. “So there you have it. I flew back last night, arrived back in this country mid afternoon and here I am.”

“Here you are,” he repeated. “And we’re glad to have you back.”

“We?” she teased.

“Well I know everyone else will be glad you’re back too, but I’m especially happy. I missed you.”

“I missed you too.” Her eyes smiled warmly. 

“I was afraid you weren’t going to come back.” The words rushed out before he could stop them.

“Why … oh, because of Drew?” 

He nodded. “You two seemed to be getting along well when he was working here and I guess I got the impression you two were planning on spending time together when you left - not that that’s a bad thing - but I’m sure all three of us remember what life was like when we were partners seven years ago. I was afraid if you two started over you’d choose to leave fieldwork or even Shield altogether so as not to risk another Bahrain situation ripping you two apart like it did before.” He swallowed hard. “I would never begrudge you your happiness, Melinda, if being with Andrew was what you really wanted, but it saddened me to think I was going to lose you again.”

“You’re not,” she said decisively. “What Andrew and I had was good, really good, and I’ll always be sad that it ended the way it did. A part of me will always love him, you have to know that, but I wasn’t the only one who changed, or was changed by what happened. Neither of us is the person we used to be and even if we wanted to go back we couldn’t. We could try but we’d never be the way we were and Bahrain and Eva and Katya would always stand there between us. Neither of us wants that, Phil.” She smiled sadly. “Letting go of the past is never easy but it was time for both of us to break the invisible tie we still had holding us together.”

He searched her face. “Is he okay with that?”

May nodded. “He’s been seeing someone for nearly a year now. I think he needed the break as much as I did so he can move on and plan a future. Without me.”

“As long as _my_ future doesn’t have to be without you.“

Slowly she reached out and took his hand in hers, the way her double had during their undercover mission, but he knew this time it was for real. She squeezed. “I’m here because this is exactly where I want to be.”

He squeezed back. “Good.”

**~ fin ~**


End file.
